What's your guiding word for 2020?

In January, two years ago, I attended a workshop hosted by my dear friend, Rosie Molinary; a successful professor, consultant, and life coach who specializes in self acceptance.  I was in transition as we all often are.  But the transitions I was experiencing then were especially hard. I had just left my career (for the second time), seeking patience with myself and my children and with the desire to be more mindfully present in my personal life.  My husband was in crisis mode, straddling two cities and two lives.  Our family was approaching a major move in which we'd leave behind our dearest loved ones, the dream house we'd just built, the life we knew and cherished. My world's axis was tilting and Rosie's workshop offered me time and space to reflect on my values and to decide how best to tackle my year ahead.

Though this was a particularly challenging time for me and an impetus to take a step back before moving forward, the fact is we all experience significant change on a yearly basis. But most of it goes unnoticed. It's subtle and shifting change, the sands passing through our hourglass, and until we take a macrsocopic view of our life we don't see it. Indeed we also face dramatic and jarring change, some joyous, some anguishing: the birth of a new child, a major move, the loss of a loved one or job. But regardless of its quality, few of us take the time to consider how our year's experiences have changed us, and in that light, how we can be our best selves in the future. Of course you can do this at any time, but January is especially apt because of the unique momentum that comes with the start of a new calendar year.

Is this similar to setting a New Year's resolution or intention?  Here are my thoughts: the word resolution connotes determination, tenacity, and will power - all good things - but doesn't allow us the grace and flexibility we need over time to be successful toward our goals. (How many people do you know who actually achieve and sustain their New Years resolutions)? The word intention signifies aspirational purpose but lacks the sense of commitment we require as time progresses and obstacles present themselves. Both words denote plans of action, changes to our routines, but neither address the personal values that will enable us to achieve our goals.

Values are a better guide to our goals than goals alone because values reflect who we are or want to be; how we treat ourselves, how we treat others, and what decisions we make. For example, if you resolve to lose weight in the new year you will have better success if you more generally focus on the value of health in your life: healthy choices, healthy relationships, healthy habits, and healthy foods.  If you resolve to spend more quality time with friends and family, you should think about what values will enable you better time and deeper connections than you've had in the past... Perhaps simplify, acceptance, build, or appreciate.

The product of Rosie's workshop that January, for each attendee, was one single word.  A guiding word of value that was unique to each person's place in time; a reminder of who they desired to be and how best to achieve their goals in the year ahead. My word was wellspring, and it brought me the successes that I hoped for and envisioned. I found the patience I sought with myself and my family. I let go of resentments I harbored and opened my heart to life's journey, including our move to Boston. I became more spiritual; I was baptized and joined a church for the first time in my life. I took my love of cooking to a soup kitchen and connected with members of our community I wouldn't have otherwise met. I started writing and began this blog. Wellspring was my daily reminder that I could be an abundant source of whatever I needed or sought.

Choosing a word to guide me through the year is now my January tradition. Last year I embraced the word beacon, desiring confidence and the ability to shine brightly during what felt like dark times. This year I'm focused on being rooted, finding ways to stay grounded, making new communities our home, and deepening connections with loved ones near and far.

What word will guide you through 2020? Before discovering it, you will need to reflect on the transitions you experienced in 2019, the goals you accomplished (or not), and who you are now relative to who you were a year ago. You will also need to think intently on your year ahead, to envision your desired achievements.  

Through these exercises you will arrive at your word. It will be a word of great personal value: a word to live by, a word to measure your choices and actions against ("Does this <choice> bring me eg. health (of body, mind, spirit)?"), a reminder of your goals throughout the year.  Be brave.  Be fearless.  Be mindful.  Seek compassion, seek authenticity, seek strength. Forgive, sparkle, inspire.

Discover your best self.

Find your word for 2020.

To find your word, just follow three simple steps:

One: Download and print a complimentary 2019/2020 'word of the year' workbook HERE. Year Compass is a non-profit started in 2013 by a group of friends in Budapest, Hungary who set out to share their New Year's reflections together. The booklet is now used by individuals, universities, and professional & support groups world-wide who strive to be intentional about their upcoming year. 

Two: Set aside an hour or two of quiet reflection time. Finding this time may be your biggest challenge but it is the most important part of the exercise. Your time will be guided by the written activities contained in the Year Compass workbook. Visit a quiet cafe and order your favorite beverage or curl up in bed with pen and paper, but indulge yourself this space.

Three: Fill out the workbook being as honest with yourself and your pen and paper as possible. The first half of the exercises direct reflections on 2019 while the second half help you envision your 2020, including arriving at your word of value.

Some notes to help you unlock your word:

• Make a vision board. If you are a creative person and have some additional time, you may enjoy creating a vision board to help you visualize your year ahead and to arrive at a guiding word of value. All you need is a stack of magazine, some glue, and a poster board. 

My vision board for 2018.

• Do it with a friend.  Find a friend (or group of friends) to do this exercise with. Sharing aloud is a great way to process what you've written down on paper as well as to feel more open and connected with the people who you trust. Each friend should fill out their Year Compass workbook separately; then meet over lunch or drinks to share your answers and to talk through your ideas for your word of value.

• Use a dictionary. Your word may not immediately come to mind, and that's okay!  Use a dictionary or other online resource to brainstorm ideas. Search for synonyms of words of interest.  Read the formal definitions of your words to ensure that all connotations are in keeping with your goals and vision for the upcoming year.

• Don't be tempted by fashion. It's easy to be lured into choosing a word for the wrong reasons. Don't select a word because it's trending on social media or because it sounds cool.  It will disappoint you in the long run.

• Test out your word(s) for a few days. I always let my word (or words) sit with me for a few days, sometimes weeks, before finally committing to one.  Try out your word as you're going about your day.  Does it bring you what you're seeking?  Does it inspire the feelings you desire?  Does it enable you to achieve your visions and goals?

• Make a physical reminder of your word. Once you've decided on a guiding word of value, print it on an object that will remind you daily of your word.  It can be as simple as writing it on a rock with sharpie pen for your desk.  But you may enjoy doing something more personal like having it stamped on a charm or painted on a sign.  Etsy has many great options!

Write me! If you enjoy this exercise, please comment. Share your word of value and your intentions for 2020. Cheers to a year that brings you what you most need!